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And theres no clothes I can buy

Make me feel like myself

She said

So I put on clothes

To make me look feel like someone else

Instead

As a matter of fact I don't like to be seen

Cause I'm not satisfied with myself She said

You better hit her

She said She said She said She said

She's dead

There no perfume I can buy

Make me smell like myself

So I put on perfume

To make me smell like someone else

In bed

And as a matter of fact

I don't like to be scented

I don't like to smell myself

She Said

You better hit her

She said, she said, she said.

She said She said

But I'm not afraid

Of being more than pretty

While your getting paid

To wind yourselves up untill you drop

Yeah..

There no one I can talk to like

I talk to myself

She said

So I play games to make them

Think I'm someone else

It's inbred

As a matter of fact

I don't like to be seen

Cause I'm not satisfied

with myself She said

You better hit her

I'm not afraid

Of being more than pretty

While your getting paid

To wind yourselves up until you drop

She said, she said, she said.

She's dead, she's dead

She's sad She's played

It's ingrained shes stained shes played Shes trade

I've fucked up inside my own head and what the hell I'm doing

In a place like this I know exactly why I'm here ---- me

stolen from Jason

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no parent should have to bury a child

my friend had to do so last month and of course she'll never be the same

her beautiful 21 year old daughter took her own life because things were to the breaking for her, with her depression.......

i know she didn't want to hurt her mother, but she couldn't have realized how much pain she has left behind

i cannot know her mother's and sister's pain

her youngest sister had to spend her 8th birthday without her big sister

my friend just wants to die, to find her baby...

she knows she must survive it for her living daughters

and she puts on a brave face for them, but something huge has been lost and she'll never get that back

none of them will

i suppose when people contemplate suicide they only see their own pain, and it is too much to bear

but if they go through with it their pain transfers and multiplies on those left behind

so many questions unanswered

so many things unsaid

so many tears

my friend found a card from years ago her daughter made for her....

something that was a sweet keepsake is now a source of pain. in time it may just become bitter-sweet... but right now all it does is hurt her so much

i cannot do anything

i feel so helpless...

and my words feel so empty